Depression is real. Anxiety is real. Stress is real.
And all three are kicking my ass.
Check on your strong friends, man.
Shit out here is getting deep.
My hair is falling out again, I’m not only clenching my teeth all day and night, but I’ve now taken to chewing up the inside of my mouth. And I’m breaking skin.
I’m forcing myself to go to work every day. I’m forcing myself to interact with my friends every day. I have to- because otherwise I have no idea when any of you would see me again. Because honestly- the desire to deal with any of you is on ZERO. And it has nothing to do with how much I love y’all (I absolutely do) but I barely give a fuck about myself right now, so its super tough to give a fuck about all of you on a consistent basis.
I’m not reading any books. I’m not watching any tv. I’m not even looking at my HGTV magazines. I don’t even want to drink this Bourbon I have sitting here.
I’m not suicidal or anything, and I’m absolutely working on things with my therapist (shout out to Dr MJ! – legit her name is Monica Johnson), but this shit is still super hard.
I will leave you with one positive note though: Because I have such little energy for me, I damn sure don’t have it for anyone’s bullshit. So I’m putting up with even LESS of it than I was before. Watch out, world.
Always, G.
newboldtopia 